Chemo funnies...
Here I sit the day before chemo feeling anxious about Round Three (on Friday the 13th!!!), drinking a cup of coffee...I've come to realize I've learned some things and thought I would share. Also...laughter is always the best medicine....
<maybe I should have had decaf....>
1. I am owned by chemo. My insides don't feel like my own after an infusion. I don't decide when and what I eat, when or how often I am able to use the toilet or how much or how little sleep I get (or don't get). I am a person who was always pretty in tuned to my body - not anymore!
2. When I'm having a good "day", it may not necessarily be a good day, but a good moment, it's best I enjoy the heck out of it
because I could be forced to take a nap from complete exhaustion and fatigue any minute.
3. Being on chemo is much like being pregnant; can't drink alcohol; certain foods and smells make me want to gag; if I have a craving and don't fulfill it right away, it may pass and make me want to hurl when I finally do; sudden and immediate urges to
pee in the middle of the night!
At the end of chemo, I don't have a beautiful baby to love and nurture; I have a beautiful new ME to love and nurture.
4. When you loose your hair to chemo, you lose ALL of your hair, including NOSE HAIR! --- Carry tissues.
5. "Chemo fog" is REAL! I'll be honest, I thought it might just be psychological. Nope. The struggle is REAL; I'm more spacey than I ever was, I've drawn COMPLETE blanks for people's names and even complete thoughts. Sometimes it's comical, but other times not so much. Bear with me people.
6. I realized just how toxic the "medicine" is when my chemo nurse approached me wearing a heavy white coat, thick rubber gloves and protective eye wear while carrying a very large
syringe with the "red cool aide". The chemo coat and gloves are to protect her while she is pushing "the medicine" through my port directly into my central nervous system.... ummmm.....
I'll just leave you with this...
Actual footage of a mosquito biting me:
As I said earlier; tomorrow, Friday the 13th is my third round of the "really tough stuff"... I'm ready to buckle up and fight like a girl. I hope you're enjoying my posts thus far. And I want to thank you again for taking this walk with me.
The love and support is DEFINITELY what keeps me going when I am feeling like "WHAT THE FUUUUUUUU______K!?!?!".
It amazes me every time I get a text, phone call or message at EXACTLY the right time....and it happens all the time.
My care team is getting me through this and they are absolutely wonderful. But my friends, the people who care about me most, is what is seeing me through - you all are the 'pink gloves' that make me feel loved, comforted and protected. THANK YOU!! and Much love to you all. See you on the flip side of #3.