And so Life goes on...

It has been 135 since my last blog post! I've thought about the blog at least once every other day and been organizing my thoughts for this next one, and have actually considered giving it up... but no, not yet. Maybe not ever. I enjoy it, and maybe it can help. If not, I can, at very least, chronicle my journey... just because the cancer is gone, it doesn't mean the journey is done. It's only just begun!

I've been enjoying life over the past few months. It seems week by week, I'm getting to feel more like myself again. I don't think I expected it to take as long as it has, but it has been a somewhat slow process; although I do notice progress week to week. My hair has come back to the point that it looks "normal"... HAHA! Well, that is, aside from the crazy - ass chemo curls!! I never in a million years would have imagined my head full of natural curls! I am absolutely in love with them and have fun trying to figure out how to tame them. I'm grateful for each and every hair on my head. It's healthy and soft, and basically does whatever it wants and I'm perfectly fine with that! It's so funny, I've spent the last 16 years of my life curling, spraying, and blow-drying my hair upside down trying to get it to stand up, be curly and have volume...now, I find myself trying to flatten it to my head and getting it to 'settle down'!!!

I still struggle some with strength and energy, but my "mental" energy is returning more and more almost daily and I can feel myself getting closer and closer to being myself again. It's an absolutely incredible feeling. Work has been a challenge, I'm on my feet a good percentage of the day and have resorted to compression socks to help with joint pain in my legs and feet to keep me going. It works, I just keep adjusting what I need to do to keep going. My spirit is stronger than ever.

I had my first MRI a couple of weeks ago. All is clear. In two weeks from today, I have my very last infusion (of "maintenance medicine" - herceptin and perjeta)... within days after that, the port comes out and I AM FREE!!! I am a changed person for sure, but I can honestly say, that I am absolutely grateful for every single minute. So much has changed for the better, but mostly the way I look at life - what's necessary and what isn't....relationships and struggles... I've always been a peace seeker, but now more than ever, peace means more to me. Energy is everything. I spend my energy wisely and always remember to keep some in the bank and I don't want to waste energy on negativity.

In two days, I will turn 47. One year ago, I was getting ready to start chemo. It was THE most tragic thing that has occurred in my life. But, as much as it felt like it, the world didn't stop turning. Life went on, the sun still rose and set every day, just as it should. The journey has been long and hard, and it's still not over.. But I have never felt more grounded. Hard times don't last forever, but neither do the good times. It's all part of our journey and there is no fast way through any of it - there is no 'skipping chapters'. It's all part of our story. We just have to keep our head straight and adjust our sails and go with it.

I know more than ever what love means, and what true friendships look like. I have the absolutely best network of friends that have become an extension of family. This was all meant to be, all meant to make me an even better version of myself. I have had the chance to rebuild my physical self back, cell by destroyed cell, and in doing so, learned who I am and who I want to be with my feet and my heart firmly planted.

This birthday, and every one after is a personal celebration and victory of who I am and what I have overcome. Part of that celebration is in gratitude for the chances, adventures and experiences that lie ahead and even more for the people who share them with me.

Love and peace to you. And thank you for taking this walk with me. ❤️